Thursday, June 20, 2019

Finley: "Pale Warrior", Part 1

I have been way over due for a blog post!  There has been a lot going on in the last couple of months and Finley is home for the summer, so finding respite to write is rare.  Several folks mentioned wanting to learn more about our journey with raising a child with Autism.  There will likely be a series of 3 or so posts to properly delve into all I want to say on the topic.

As many of you know, our daughter, Finley Rose, is diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD).  According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), in 2014, 1 in 59 children were diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD).  This data comes from a study conducted by the Autism and Developmental Disabilities Monitoring (ADDM) Network.  The report goes on to explain that ASD is 4 times more likely to occur in boys than in girls.  According to their data, 1 in 151 girls are affected by ASD vs. 1 in 37 boys.

The reason I felt it was important to distinguish boys diagnosed vs. girls is because ASD truly looks much different in female children.  Many girls go undiagnosed or misdiagnosed because they do not display the "classic" characteristics of the disorder.  Many times when we think about Autism, we picture a child that is anti-social, avoids eye-contact, and has uncontrollable "stimming" behaviors (rocking, humming, hand flapping, etc.).  While some girls do display these behaviors, many do not subscribe to them quite as obviously or clearly as boys typically do.

I will use Finley as an example.  Before attending pre-school, Finley was very contented to completely ignore the presence of other children around her.  She would play independently with a random object or interact selectively with an adult.  Today, she clearly exhibits a desire to want to be a part of a social group and is able to "jump in" with a group of kids in play.  However, when you watch closely, you notice that she still doesn't quite seem to understand the little made-up games kids like to play, but she loves to run, jump, and squeal in tandem.  Because of this, other children struggle to find common ground with Finley and as time goes on, she becomes left out of the social group.  Sometimes, she gets SO excited and overstimulated, she will swat at the kids around her or grab at their clothing with little to no warning.  Understandably, this is off-putting to kids that are unfamiliar with Finley.

Finley does not avoid eye-contact.  However, she rarely maintains that eye-contact without verbal prompting.  She will now respond to her name and various directives when given explicitly with attention to task analysis for things that are new for her.  Working with kiddos for 10+ years in a school setting, I can tell you that neither of those things are too uncommon in neurotypical kids her age.

Finley does not display the typical stimming behaviors, but she certainly does stim.  You will see her stimming the most when she is bored in the environment she is in.  For example, when she's been at home all day without planned activities, she will often resort to running in circles, jumping, climbing furniture, and squealing.  Many kids with ADHD as a stand-alone or co-morbid disorder display the same types of behaviors.  When Finley is OVER stimulated, she becomes destructive and emotional.  Again, not dissimilar to children with ADHD.  The key to curbing a lot of these behaviors with Finley is keeping her active.  Like, way more active than the average kid.  Finding a way to channel that energy is paramount because anyone that is a sensory seeker WILL find a means to meet those sensory needs.  More on that in Part 2.

This post might be a little weird and ramble-y, but life is a little weird and ramble-y, ours especially.  Raising a child with Autism is not for the weak-minded parent.  Ultimately, it takes a village and more patience than most people can muster on any given day.  I try daily and fail occasionally.  Some days, you just have to love harder!       




    

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